tabitha (dorcas)... what could it mean?

so maybe a month and a half ago i had a dream. i normally don't look much at my dreams - as they are either filled with bad memories, nonsense or the like. sometimes the dreams are funny, sometimes scary, sad, funny. but at the time when i had this dream, things were being prophesied over me, regarding isaiah 55. so i guess i gave little thought to the dream i had, but like most others i let it go. but recently, at the thought of a dream a dear friend of mine had about her life at this present moment, how vivid it was. how i instructed her to make sure she knew if her dream was of the Lord or if it was an attack. (a friend had already told her this and i was just agreeing). but then it got me thinking back to the dream i had. i don't remember what happened in the dream, i don't recall exactly what happened so i guess that part is lost. but what i do remember, is waking up with the name tabitha on my lips. this was not the typical wake up thinking of someone and realizing i need to pray for them. it was different. (although to cover my bases, i did pray for someone i know with the name tabitha. someone whom i have not spoke with in years.) no, this time it was the feeling that i was being called to be like tabitha, or that my life is to be like tabitha.

i went to a book i had been given just a few months prior to this dream, all the women of the bible. actually, i had bud grab the book and he read it before me. he came into the living room and said 'well if this was a prophecy then it seems like you're going to die and be resurrected.' i was a bit confused, i read a little bit about her and i think i was so confused that i just gave up on that idea. but now with the thought of my friends vivid dream regarding her life, it got me thinking about that dream. i don't understand it, i don't know why i'm re-thinking about it. i don't even know what happened in the dream. i could try to go back to sleep and see if i could "re-dream" it, but thats nearly impossible. well, impossible unless the Lord saw fit to remind me of the dream. maybe i'm thinking of it completely wrong. so today, i looked up "tabitha" in my book again and read the story. (please note: this book is an entertaining way to learn about the life of women of the bible. but i'm not completely sure if the feelings felt by the woman of the bible, according to this book are 100% accurate. i'll have to figure it out as i do more research.) i also read the biblical citation in acts 9:36-42. i think i'll copy the scripture here.

acts 9:36-42 "Now there was in Joppa a disciple named Tabitha, which, translated, means Dorcas. She was full of good works and acts of charity. In those days she became ill and died, and when they had washed her, they laid her in an upper room. Since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, hearing that Peter was there, sent two men to him, urging him, "Please come to us without delay." So Peter rose and went with them. And when he arrived, they took him to the upper room. All the widows stood beside him weeping and showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them. But Peter put them all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. And he gave her his hand and raised her up. Then calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive. And it became known throughout all Joppa, and many believed in the Lord." even now, having reread the scripture and thinking of what was written about tabitha in my book, i'm not sure what to think. i'm not sure how to decipher or to read into this. was it just a dream that i really should think nothing of it? is it something that i should be thinking about, applying to my life somehow? i mean, if you think about it - she was given another chance. she was dead but the Lord saw fit to revive her, to give her more of a chance at life on earth before truly coming Home for good. is this to show me that i need to make more of my life, to show me that there is something i haven't done that i'm supposed to do. i'm not sure.

i do not think that i'm going to die and be resurrected. not that i don't think the Lord is capable, but i don't know if that will happen. if thats in the books for me. i mean, it could be but i'm not sure. so what do i make of it? do i have a gift of some sort of hospitality or some gift i can do by hand that i'm not doing, that i should be doing? do i have a practical ability that i could be doing to show the people the love of Christ, merely through my actions. i know that i do not have words to say. i know that i am not great with words, at least not when speaking them. sometimes i wish i could be a writer. not a famous one, just so that i could write for people while they talk - only putting things in my own words. a professional blogger! doesn't that sound fun. i am not sure, sometimes i don't know where i fit in, in the grand scheme of things. if you have any clue, if you have any idea what it is i should take from this dream - could you give me a hint? i'm kind of at a loss for words. let me know what you think. agape.

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