songbird says stuff...

hey all. i don't have much to say so i'm gonna keep this short. i'm tired and i have been tired ALL day. bud kept me up late last night - he was on the phone with his dad, doing taxes. it wasn't his fault - just inconvenient. i actually fell asleep at work today, during the girls second nap. i never thought i would do that but man i guess i was overly tired. anyway - ailia was full of angst and attitude today. it happens though. other than that - i made AMAZING chicken for my husband tonight and we played world of warcraft all evening. its been ages since we both played together. it was nice. fun stuff. my phone missed 3 separate phone calls this evening. silly at&t for not having great service at my house. oh well - 3g wins everywhere else.

bummed about john piper inviting rick warren to his conference. need to do more reading up on this before i make any hard claims or statements, but it has raised flags and i'm super bummed.

i'm off now to spend sometime with my husband and then go to bed. ciao bello.

agape.

hey to my readers. i have been missing, i know. you may have missed me and if you didn't, i don't blame you. lets see: short recap of the past couple days. i already told you about my nephews birthday party this past saturday. on sunday we went to church which was awesome. our pastor finished up the book of jonah where he explained the love of God. what it is and how we should see it. its not what a majority of people want it to be. most people want it to be all full of rainbows and flowers, when in reality - God's love can be gentle and it can also bring trials that will prove to refine and purify us. that's something that i've been trying to stress to people a lot. God is not you're teddy bear, He is not cuddly and cute. He is GOD. He deserves our respect, He deserves our gratitude and He deserves to be honored and glorified as such. when we think of God as just someone who holds your hand all the time rather than one who is just and demands holiness, we demean him. at least thats how i feel. i'm not saying that He isn't our comfort and our ever present help in times of need. He definitely is all those things, but to limit that and to naively think that He would NEVER bring about trials in our life, then you missed out the entire point of the story of jonah. he didn't just end up in a big fish. he ran from God, God pursued him. jonah repented. God told jonah what to do (the same thing he was asked to do from the beginning.) jonah then got angry and ran again. God pursued him. gave him trials. its a perfect example of us. we need to repent everyday, for our running and lack of trust in God. we have standards that we hold others too, when in reality we should hold them to God's standard, which is the Gospel is meant for the most wretched and heinous of sinners. we are all the most putrid sinners out there. don't kid yourself into thinking you're not.

wow, sorry - went on a tangent! i just get tired of hearing people talk about God as if He's their buddy, belittling the work that was done on the cross for those who He's called to be His children. *bah* okay.  sorry. next topic. after church we came home and relaxed for a bit and then went to a play at mica. bud knows a guy there from YouTube. the play was "a midsummer nights dream". super fun!! glad we went and it was nice meeting buds friend. if i had his facebook i'd post it, if i had his YouTube page, i'd post that too. i'm sure bud will on my comments. ;-P that is if he reads this update. anyway - mica is located in baltimore. we drove through a pretty ghetto area and although i was a little apprehensive as i hate getting lost, we did well - regardless of the poor rainy weather! we didn't get lost and we got home around 11:30! not too bad considering the play was over at 10 and we left mica at 10:30 and stopped for food! awesome. we got burger king - bleh. i am beginning to not like fast food and i think thats a good thing. but thats another thought.

i've lost 25 pounds since leaving california. this is a GREAT thing! i still have a good 75 pounds to go, but 25 pounds is a good start!! now i'm beginning to level off and hit a plateau. granted i've been sick, on antibiotics and have had no energy to do anything, so even my activity at work has slumped. i've been doing as little as possible (while still entertaining and taking care of the babies) so i wouldn't get too tired or feel worse. now that i'm starting to feel better, i'm hoping that i can get a little more active and once the rain stops, hopefully i can start walking home from work. my original thought was to walk too and from work, but after making the walk once, i don't feel as comfortable making the walk in the morning. people are a little more groggy and drive a little more crazy as they make their morning commute in the morning and since the road is a little precarious (quite a few blind spots), i'd rather walk it in the afternoon. which is still 1.5 miles a day! so if i cut back on my eating a little bit more (i really don't like take out food anymore! we had arby's for dinner because neither of us wanted to cook, and i realized i didn't like it. neither of us wanting to cook is the problem. if we had our own kitchen downstairs, i'd have less issues with cooking, as i really LOVE to cook, but i hate having to go upstairs to cook and then back down. by then the food is cold and doesn't taste as good as it should. so although I LOVE our apartment, there are some drawbacks, but i can't complain when we pay so little in relation to what others pay. anyway - i need to put my lifestyle change in more of a full steam ahead!

well, lost is on in 15 minutes and i still have another blog to write in. its very important that i do that as i have so much to stay to my little ones. talk to you soon. grace&peace. agape.

today we went to carter-man's birthday party and that was a lot of fun. today was the first day i was able to play and get some real quality time with him! i didn't expect to get that because i know he would be busy with all the people there to see him. thank God it was such a special day for me! after the party bud and i came home and vegged around the house after taking monster for a walk. it was a really beautiful day. a little on the chilly side, but still gorgeous. i love walking down by the water, looking out at the bay. i need to do it more often and i need to make sure i do that during the summer.

bud and i went to whole foods today because i was craving their pre-made salmon sushi! its the only place i'll get pre-made sushi. oh and in hong kong, but thats a different story. while at the market, bud decided he wanted to look into vegan turkey. he had convinced himself that it was fake and didn't truly exist. so i found it and everything went downhill from there. he got all crazy about vegan food and bought meatless turkey slices and boca chickenless chicken patty's. he then preceded to say "i am now a vegan". but once he tasted it when he got home, i think he realized he loves real turkey and real chicken too much. not that it was bad, it just wasn't yeah... it just wasn't. theres not much more i can say about it. so needless to say, bud was a vegan for all of 1 hour. congratulations.

after eating sushi, i wrote in my other blog which i think i've linked already but i'll do it again. go to my other blog! its awesome. ***here*** i spent a long time looking for new templates for this blog and my other one. i am very pleased with how they turned out. i hope you enjoy them - let me know what you think.

so now i'm just hanging out listening to worship music and loving this blogging stuff. i forgot how much i really enjoy to write and let my artistic juices flow. once i start i love it, but then i get distracted. but i've been pretty good about updating daily! i really hope i keep it up.

God, babies, family and hong kong have been on my mind the most lately. let me briefly explain:

God - duh. He's usually on my mind. He deserves all my thoughts, all my praise, all my adoration and i pray that all Glory goes to Him. i pray that my life, my words and my actions are pleasing in His sight. but to be more specific with regards to my thoughts about Him - He truly is an amazing God. He has blessed me with an amazing husband and family, an amazing job, a great place to live, 2 great animals and has given me a peace about this whole having a baby thing. if you know me at all - having a baby is one of my most longed for desires of all time. and yes, sometimes i doubt but for the most part, since i've started writing letters to my future children (which is what my other blog is about), my heart has swelled with even more love for God and my children. peace doesn't mean that i'm necessarily ecstatic about something or happy all the time. but i know that i'm okay - i know that God is in control and thats all i should ever worry about. i pray that i cling to that peace.

babies - i basically explained this already. i want a baby as soon as God wants to give me one! my desire is for one soon, but i need to make sure that i don't put my desires above what God wills. but i also believe that He gives us desires or at least knows and hears our hearts desires. so i'm trusting in Him and looking forward to holding my dear ones.

family - seeing my brother and his wife and how close they are with her side of the family makes me wish i was that close to my family. i am pretty close to my parents. my mom's like my best friend next to my husband. (don't worry - my closest friends know who you are and i love you!!!) and i'm beginning to become closer to my brothers and their families, but i really want to spend time with them while i can. while i'm still in the states. i want to have special times with them, i want their kids to love me and know who i am and want to hang out with me. i want a close knit family. i think its super important because at the end of the day, your family is by your side when everyone else jets (at least for the most part. there are times where things get crazy, but you know what i mean). and my closest friends - i consider you family! so yay!

hong kong - i long to be there. i want to be there now. but if you read above, there are things that i'm working on now that are priority to my desire to be there. and obviously we can't go until my time is fulfilled with rhonda and bud is finished with school and landed a job out there. so really - we just need to be patient. but i really need to get on learning cantonese. i think i just don't try because i'm so intimidated by it and i feel like i'm a HORRIBLE student. i feel like i'm really bad at learning, like my brain just doesn't want to store information sometimes. but i need to just get over it and try it. i don't want to be one of those people who live there for years, raise kids there and not bother to learn the language. i think its a huge act of respect to the locals if you learn their language.

well - now that i've written an entire chapter to a book, i guess i'll end my long blog. sorry for the length. if you're still reading, you must truly love me!! yay!!!!! thanks for caring about what goes on in my life. please leave comments on here, it makes me smile and makes me truly happy to hear what you all think. till next time. agape.

today i have lots on my mind and we'll see what comes out on this here blog. but first let me tell you what i did today. same old, same old really. i went to work and played with the babies. leila and ailia decided they didn't want to take naps today - so i'm assuming they were either little monsters for rhonda and richard tonight or they went to bed early. i hope neither and that i'm wrong. so after work, i came home and cleaned up the house a bit, vacuumed and got rid of some trash and reorganized. then i checked out the pictures daks posted of his little boy. zaedyn is precious!!! 


becky came over tonight with brody! i love it when they come over because i can hang out with becky and get some baby fill time as well. i know, i am with twin babies all day long 5 days a week. but that doesn't mean i don't love spending time with brody. he's so dang cute! its never a dull moment when becky and i hang out. we can talk about the most random things and not really do anything but its still fun. well - its fun to me. i hope she enjoys herself when she comes over. i guess i'm kind of a boring person considering i don't do anything. but most everything costs money and i don't feel like spending money. ya know?


becky left about a half hour ago and now i'm sitting here, nostalgic and wanting. i don't remember if i mentioned this but it seems that EVERYONE around me is getting pregnant, was pregnant and had their baby or knows someone who is pregnant or was and already had their baby. just this past week i know of 2 babies that were born. i long to have a child of my own. it gets so bad sometimes that i get frustrated seeing all these people have babies and my heart aches to hold a child of my own. my arms long to cradle a child that will call ME mommy. i think i mentioned yesterday that i've started a blog of letters to my future children that i will one day pass on to them or give to them as a gift and HOPE that they will carry it on with their children. i am blessed that all these new lives are being brought into the world and that they are potential heirs to the kingdom of God, potential missionaries, pastors, teachers, doctors and future mommy's and daddy's. but sometimes my flesh gets the better of me and i almost resent those around me with children or having children. but i don't really - i love you all and i'm SO excited for you. please don't think i'm not. i just want what you have and i have to fight off jealousy. there i said it. 


i love listening to jim brickman.


to add salt to the iwantababy wound, i'm missing hong kong. i am missing everything about it. the way it sounds in the crowded streets and mtr stations. i miss the way it smells walking down the street and passing by all the street vendors with different types of food. i miss taking prayer walks around the villages where ancestry worship runs rampant. i miss doing ministry there. i miss taking gifts to friends. its been over a year since we've been there and i know that if i were to go there now, it'd feel as if we never left. sure some things will be different. i mean come one, hong kong is a continually developing country... its always going to have something new for me to see. and i still have yet to visit all the touristy attractions. anyway - the last time we were there we struggled with finances which in turn kind of spoiled our trip a bit. but even thinking of the miserable times we had out there, the good amazing time we had and the blessings that God provided outweigh the bad. i'll stop whining now though. hong kong - i pray for you, and by that i mean i pray for your people, i pray for revival, for God to do a work of change in the people's heart. i pray for the saving of souls to all that live there and that missionaries will rise up from hong kong and go preach to their fellow chinese brothers and sisters just across the bridge. 


i think i'm going to go play my iPhone video games and start winding down for the night. tomorrow is my nephew carters birthday party and i'm excited to go and bring him his truck i got him. i'm assuming a bunch of people got him trucks so i have the receipt and if they want me to take it back and get something else, i will totally do that. anyway - thats at 10:00am. afterwards we'll see what happens. oh and on a side note: i'm starting to feel a little bit better (more than yesterday). gogo antibiotics. kk. i'm off. agape.

so i just realized its 10:24pm and i need to get to bed. i still haven't showered or brushed my teeth. dangit. oh well. but i know how you missed me so much yesterday. my bad.


today i went to work and actually didn't feel like dying due to this horrific sinus infection/bronchitis. yeah, did i mention i went to a clinic and got looked at. i have what i just told you i have. its been miserable and i have literally came home from work, took medicine and laid on the couch every day this week. but now that the antibiotics have had time to start working, i'm starting to feel better. my lungs are slightly less full of sludge and my nose isn't so stuffed up that i can actually sort of smell things and taste my food. hooray! the babies were a handful today - but still ridiculously cute. but let me post what i posted on my facebook status, just for further clarification on the topic of "babies are innocent angels". my status said: "Christin Joy Newman believes whole heartedly that children are a gift from God. But don't let that full you. They are not little angels, they are little monsters of iniquity!! Ailia and Leila had a fight. Leila was trying to crawl and I was cheering her on. Ailia gets jealous and rolled over to get attention. I said good job! Then went back to cheering Leila on. So Ailia squeals, rolls over to Leila and pulls her hair and bit her. I swiftly pulled them apart and held Leila who had tears the size of walnuts running down her face. I picked up Ailia and told her NO and sat her on her bottom. Then Ailia decided to throw a fit for 20 minutes. Oh the Drama!!!" so let me say it again - children are a blessing, but don't be fooled with their trickery. they are sinners just like the rest of us with an upper hand of manipulation, if you let them have it that is.


babies. they are swarming around me and the thought of having children is always on my mind. what a great thought. the past week i've been writing letters to and praying for my future children. i actually decided to make it a blog which you can find here. feel free to let me know what you think, but be nice because i fully intend on showing this to my children one day. probably on their wedding day or on my death bed. i'm not sure which. who knows if they will even read it all (i tried writing a letter to my husband everyday for the entire first year we were married and i don't think he has read them all - to this day. but thats okay - i forgive him). anyway - if you can pray for God's guidance and will with regards to babies in mine and bud's near future, that'd be great. theres a lot of things that hang in the balance for that (mainly my health). we'll see what happens and i pray that no matter what, i will give God all the glory that He deserves and that, again, whatever happens, that i'll trust in His decisions. man thats some heavy prayers to pray because that will be one of the most difficult things for me to deal with - if God says, nope, sorry you're not going to have children naturally. let me clarify as well - the blog i'm writing - its to my natural children and any children bud and i hope/decide to adopt. yep.


monster truck needs a bath.


well - it is now 10:36pm and i should get to bed. was there anything else i was going to say? oh, my husband and i have been reading through the bible together and although some of it is really hard to get through (because to me its about as exciting as a blank screen), its been such a great time. reading through and spending time with the Lord and with each other has strengthened our marriage. i can honestly say i love my husband more now than i ever have in the nearly 8 years we've been together. its amazing that the more i grow spiritually with my husband, the more my heart grows and i dive deeper and deeper into the love that i have for him, the love that my God gave me to give him. i just hope and pray that i do an adequate job at showing him. because i know that i can be - in the words of harry potter - "a right foul git" when i'm unhappy or i'm sick or what have you. hopefully he forgives me before i even get a chance to apologize, but you know something. i think he does. well that is all for now. my bed is calling my name yet again and i can't deny it my presence any longer. oh and if you had noticed, i was ending my blogs saying goodbye in different languages. i'm kind of over that - so don't expect it anymore, if you even were. i don't think anyone even reads this anyway. so yeah - okay. goodnight. agape.

Watching LOST and going to bed. Feeling like junk. Hopefully this medicine will help soon. Grace&Peace. Byebye. Will write more when I'm feeling better.

So this will be brief as I'm writing this whilst on my iPhone. I'm super tired and will be heading off to dreamland soon. I had a decent day at work. The babies behaved themselves for the most part and then afterwards I went to the doctor for my cold that wasn't going away. Got some meds, ate dinner, watched secret life and now I'm posting. I've been up since 5:30am, thanks to my rambunctious cat and dog. If there was ever a time I wanted to throw them outside, it was this morning. But I didn't obviously. They are here and cute and lovely. I can't stay mad at them for long.

Alright that's all. I'm heading to snooze world. Hasta luego. Byebye.

well - thanks to the incessant partying that went on until 4am, bud and i didn't make it to church this morning due to being exhausted. and might i add, we didn't even attend the party. i'm not one to complain about loudness and partying and the like, but when its going on till 4am and the smoke alarm goes off for what seemed like 5 minutes at 2am in the morning - thats a bit much for me. but i'm glad they had a good time it seems and bud and i were able to watch my church on television. they record the 9:15am service and air it on one of the local stations. it was a sermon i had already heard, while bud was still in california - but regardless, it was church and it was good to hear the message. it was about death. 

the past few days i've been suffering with ingrown hairs in my armpit (this happens a lot nowadays, its really getting old). isn't that a wonderful way to start a blog entry? anyway - today it hurt so bad that all i could do was cry. i couldn't put my arm down and if i raised it up my arm got tired so it was really a junky situation. so i sucked it up and went along my day, pain or no pain. and i'm glad i did because it turned out to be a fun day. bud and i headed out around 1pm today and stopped at rita's to get a free italian ice. yay for the first day of spring special! i got a mango and bud got an orange cream! it was the perfect day for it: the temperature was in the low 70's, sunny and beautiful! once we got our rita's we headed over the bay bridge to visit my brother and his family on kent island. it was nice spending time with bob, donna, alissa, caleb and meaghan. 

'ello lovelies. the time is currently 10:37pm as I begin to write this and I just got home 10 minutes ago. i worked 15 hours today and i must say i'm exhausted. bud got a pizza and brought it over, as well as some chocolate cookies and cream ice cream! it was awesome to have him there and to be able to hang out with him while i was working. :) today was a busy day. i did a bunch of tidying up around my employers house just because i felt like it, watched the babies, took them to the doctors and while they slept i read a bunch of articles on the amazing work God is doing in China. its been making me want to be there even more! but i must be patient and trust in the Lord's perfect timing. if you're interested in reading the articles about china you can look here and here. i try not to get overly optimistic with regards to china's "religious improvements" because my spirit has a sense of warning with regards to it being talked about in a public forum. nonetheless, its nice to read an encouraging article about God changing someone's life and hearing of heart transformation. (funny - we were just talking about that in church last week. coincidence? nope!)


anywho - since China seemed to be all over the place today (even my dad called me to tell me about something he heard about China on the news today) - it got me missing Hong Kong even more. tonight as i gave the babies their bottle and was rocking them back to sleep, i started to sing to them. now, thats nothing new, but tonight, i started to sing to them in cantonese! i'm not trying to elude that i "spoke in tongues" or had some spiritual experience. it was just nice that the Lord brought to remembrance a song that i learned while in Hong Kong. and what was nice was that i remembered the words and THAT is something different. i'm horrible with different languages. granted, its easier for me to learn a language if i'm singing it, but to the same degree, remembering a worship song in cantonese is AWESOME! (i really watch too much yo gabba gabba.) anyway - it was nice to rock them to sleep and sing to them in cantonese. they don't know what i was saying but that didn't make the moment any less special for me.


i did a lot of praying over them today. i need to remember to do that EVERYDAY. while i was playing with them today, i just talked to them in a soft voice saying "my prayer for you ailia is that you will love Jesus and grow in His love and grace and take it to the ends of the earth! my prayer for you leila is that you will love Jesus and grow in His love and grace, and take it to the ends of the earth! my prayer for you girls is that you will live for Jesus, be moved and show others Jesus in your life." they just smiled and babbled like normal and i couldn't help but get a little choked up. i can't wait to have a child of my own. one that i can pray over, love and take care of. a little one that i can raise in the ways of the Lord and see God do amazing and great things in his or her life. one day, i hope to have a child of my own. i hope and pray for that to come to fruition some day. hopefully someday soon! i hope my endometriosis doesn't cause too much trouble in that area.


well, i think i will sign off this here blog thingy. maybe i'll come back and actually write out the lyrics to the song i was talking about earlier. i dunno. we'll see. anyway. talk to you later. much love to you! agape.


-----


edit: i decided to write the lyrics on here. enjoy!


jeun sam ching jeh yeh woh wa

jeun sam ching jeh ji sing jeh

jeun sam yan san yi fu chut
yeh sou gei duk ta oi ji

chorus:

yan chi yuen yeuk dik suet ngoh gong keung

pan kung dik duet ngoh fu juk

yan jue gei duk yi sing jau liu daai si

ching jeh jue

in english it says: 

give thanks with a grateful heart
give thanks unto the Holy One
give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son
give thanks with a grateful heart
give thanks unto the Holy One
give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

and now let the weak say, i am strong
let the poor say, i am rich
because of what the Lord has done for us
and now let the weak say, i am strong
let the poor say, i am rich
because of what the Lord has done for us

give thanks.

kk. now i'm really signing off. ciao.

my husband has been awesome at writing in his blog everyday and it has inspired me to write in mine! i've neglected this for way too long and i really should get back to writing in it. writing is a favorite past time and the thought of one day collaborating ideas and writing a book has always been something that intrigued me. have you seen little women? well, the main character, jo - her role in that book/movie always makes me want to write. and then i start to write! but then all too quickly, i lose my inspiration and i quit. so i'm hoping to continue and write each day. maybe one day, i'll actually do something as exciting as write a book. but lets not get ahead of ourselves here, shall we not. my goal here is to write daily. the purpose of this blog has always been to get what i'm feeling off my chest and into somewhat of a format that may shed some light to others, how my life is and what drives me in my day to day.

so pray for me as i take on the task of writing... everyday. sitting down and spouting off how i'm feeling or what i'm thinking. here's a fair warning though: my thoughts are consumed with the following: first and foremost my mind thinks about God and seeking to bring Him glory through my life. this consists of talking about Calvinism, doctrine, different religions rituals in comparison to my beliefs, etc. also - i think about Hong Kong a lot and missions in general as i have many friends who are cross-cultural missionaries. i can't wait for the day when my husband and i get back there for long term! i think a lot about babies and family. i love my family and i can't wait to start a family of my own. all in good time though - all in God's timing. i think a lot about medical things: mostly ones that plague women (ex. endometriosis). also - my thoughts are sort of random. i may just start talking about what i did that day and leave it at that. who knows. its really up in the air. but just letting you know. anyway - its late and i have to wake up and go to work tomorrow. i will update tomorrow and i'll explain what i've been up too lately. to any of you who read this - love you!! grace&peace. byebye.