songbird says stuff...

i missed church today. i'm very sad, however i could have made it. but i was feeling so tired and kind of protesting going to church because i didn't want to have to wake up bud. something about making him get out of bed for church (not that he doesn't want to go, but that he just can't seem to wake up on his own if he knows i am home) kind of irritates me. don't worry... he knows i hate having to wake him up. this is not some sneaky passive aggressive way for me to vent my frustrations to him without having to actually do it. don't worry. i'm not that petty.

so on to my drab feelings for the day. sorry - this won't be a very peppy update. not much happened and all i am doing is feeling down and glum. although, i'm currently talking to my friend cara, who is always a delight to speak with. just the conversation and "company" is nice. bud is at a work meeting at the coffee shop. so i'm alone, again. boo. i'm glad he has a job, i am just sad that i am missing him so much. but this is life. this is just how it goes.

the past few days, i've been thinking of having my own place. i've been dreaming familiar dreams of a life in asia, a life with children wearing little hong kong school uniforms, riding on the mini bus and trains, speaking cantonese and english. i've been dreaming familiar dreams of bud and i, living and working in hong kong. providing spiritual help to our fellow brothers and sisters of the faith, in hong kong. whether it be in a church setting or just by bible study... i'm not quite sure. the thought of having lady friends who are cross-cultural whom i can speak to and enjoy life with as i do with my friends here in the states. to have true bonds with my chinese sisters and brothers.

these things i think about so frequently, that it is hard to wake up and realize i'm not there. its not that i don't love being back in maryland. i do. i love the area, i love the friends i do get to spend time with, i love that i'm near my parents and brothers. i love that for the first time in our life, while we are not wealthy or well off even, bud and i are providing for ourselves, working towards paying off debt with the goal of hong kong not too far in the future. (except, anything longer than a few months is too far in my heart, but i know its better to stick around here while i finish up at least my AA in school and bud potentially gets more experience in the teaching field.

so while i'm working and going to school and waiting for hong kong to become more of a reality, i feel like i'm pining for home. wishing i was able to ride the kcr/mtr and mini buses, wishing i was eating the food, walking everywhere, being immersed in a culture that might not be my own, but i love it and find it absolutely beautiful. i've never wanted to be anywhere so much in my entire life. oh to hear the sounds, smell the smells, see the sites... i know its cheesy but "live it love it... hong kong." oh i'll stop myself from going on because i could. and while i started writing this blog probably over an hour ago, i got side tracked looking at pictures and reminiscing. its so easy to do... but so hard at the same time. unfortunately, i must apologize. it would not strike me as odd if those of you who actually read my blog get tired of hearing me say i'm missing hong kong every now and then. i do apologize. i can't help myself from wanting to talk and think about hong kong. it just happens. it was such an amazing and big part of my life, even if it was only for 9+ months.

i'll leave you with this. sweet sound of the saints in another part of the world... yet singing songs that have been around for a long time, giving praise to God.