songbird says stuff...

paul says it so well...

Posted by christin joy | | 8/31/2008 02:25:00 AM

"To all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world. For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each others faith, both yours and mine. I want you to know, brothers, that I have often intended to come to you (but thus far have been prevented), in order that I may reap some harvest among you as well as among the rest of the Gentiles."
- Romans 1:7-13

daily my heart thinks and wanders back to hong kong. the sounds of the very busy and loud streets with their flashing lights and beeping crosswalks. the feeling of thousands of people running into you and cutting you off as you walk. the smell of durian fruit at the market. the amazing scenery when you climb 300+ stairs to look down and over the village you are living in. the feeling of my heart sinking as i walk past the many monestaries and the seemingly random shrines placed all over the place with freshly lit incense. the daily reminder of how derelict and depraved this world really is. the daily reminder to pray for those around you because in a city of over 7million people, the amount of those whose souls will burn in the eternal fire of hell is huge. the daily reminder to bless those who curse you and to reach out to those in need. the little old ladies whose backs are so crooked that they look like a question mark. the large amounts of homeless people and cripples who haggle for money day in and day out. all of this is not even the tip of the iceberg of what and why i miss hong kong. this doesn't even scrape the surface of the emotions that fill my very being when i think about hong kong, when something jogs my memory. hot tears pour down my face when i think of such things and theres very little i or anyone can do to cool my cheeks.

oh how i miss my little homeless lady. i hope she is okay. i pray that she is well. i pray she is getting food since i am gone. oh how i miss the random people i'd meet at the harbor while sitting and watching ferries and other commercial boats go by. i miss my indian friends at sherry-pun-jab. i miss the random people God would place in mine and buds path to minister too. i miss taking prayer walks around tseng lan shue village and i miss maria. oh how i hate that i lost her address! :( i miss grace and winton. i hope their little baby is okay! i REALLY need to write to them. oh how i long to be there with them, i long to preach the Gospel to them, i long to fellowship with my brothers and sisters of hong kong. i miss my po ying and maggie cho! i miss debbie and esther and everyone at happyland. oh how i miss my kids! i miss having cameron come over to my house, talking about the Lord, having food, watching movies and hanging out and acting "gangsta". i miss it. i complained while there because i was letting the enemy and circumstances make me lose my focus. and now that i'm back in stale old america, i realize just how alive i felt out there. just how useful i could have been. how i need to go back and fulfill the things i had hoped to do. i need to start hopes refuge. Lord, let bud's schooling go quickly. send us home to hong kong soon. my heart longs to be with them, to share in fellowship and to share in the gospel with those whom you love. agape.

God Provides

Posted by christin joy | | 8/05/2008 04:52:00 PM

just as God provided for Elijah from the wrath of King Ahab. just as God provided for the israelites in getting them out of egypt. just as God provided for the disciples and for the sick and the poor and the hungry... God is still a God who provides today. He provides and still does miracles. watch these videos and see how awesome.

so amazing. i read this book a long time ago but the family/outreach finally put up stuff on youtube! so now you can see videos.

agape,
christin

Come let us return to the LORD; for He has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and He will bind us up. After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will rise us up, that we may live before Him. Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; His going out is sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth. -Hosea 6:1-3

this brought me to tears...

Posted by christin joy | | 7/31/2008 09:11:00 PM

this is what i wanted to do. i'm so glad that someone was able to go and do it. hopefully God will allow me to have an opportunity to do this the next time a false prophet comes nearby, or even in my neighborhood. i dont know if i'll do open air, but who knows, maybe thats what God wants. i'm not sure. either way, the Lord's Gospel and Law must be preached and i pray for those who mock the word of the Lord.

john 3:16-21
"For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God."

matthew 24:24
"For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect."

agape.

ngoh oi nei jue

Posted by christin joy | | 7/23/2008 05:52:00 PM

"Your steadfast love will lead us through the tempest. grace and strength are ours. Your faithfulness will see us through the storm. and give us hope to carry on."
- anchored by enfield.

i have been craving to know whats going on with current events in my friends lives. i've been desiring to take on their burden alongside them. but today - after speaking with my husband - i realized that i was wrong in what i was feeling. the desire to bear my brother and sisters burden is not wrong per se, but the way i wanted to go about it and the way i wanted to be involved was wrong. i need to be in prayer, i need to be growing spiritually and intimately with God rather than letting this nonsense stagger me and cause me to become angry at churches. i already have enough of that bitterness i need to let go of, i cannot continue to add to it. i have always had a problem with wanting to fix everything. i know as of today, that thats not what God wants from me. God has shown me what He wants from me, what He wants from bud and i, and i need to be content in that.

i have a goal ahead of me. God has given me a desire and a vision for the people of hong kong and china. all that i do here in america should be in preparation for the things that God has put on my heart for asia. spiritual growth above and beyond any growth i've made in the past (your spiritual downfalls magnify themselves when you're on the mission field, because the enemy can't stand that you are out there hoping to complete the great commission.), creating a support team that is strong and willing to support the mission, being spiritually minded in all things that the enemy wants to throw at me, allowing God to magnify Himself in my life. this very thing going on with friends and their church is something the enemy wants to use to get me off task. yes, the kids are a priority to me as i have fallen in love with them. but getting involved with the logistics and politics of the church - i learned - is not something for me to do unless it comes down to it. rather, i want to be in constant communication with the kids and see how they are doing. so thats what i'm going to do with this situation. and as i'm growing spiritually, letting God refine and define me, i will do more good for those involved and those around me. God will give me courage and words of encouragment and exhortation for those i love and those who need it. i need to focus on Jesus in all things, and He will use me in situations He see's fit. so while i'm here in america - a temporary home - i will do the works of my Lord that will then lead us to hong kong - another temporary home - where i will do the works of my Lord and hopefully then - we'll be taken to our promised home and we will rejoice:

"We will sing on that day, Hallelujah, Bless Your name We will bow at your throne singing Hallelujah, we are finally home!"
- finally home by enfield.

for the next month i'm going to be studying the beattitudes, hopefully by the grace of God, committing them to memory - and in response to what i learn, i pray that God will provide me opportunities to preach His Gospel, that He will grow me and refine me, allowing me to be the daughter of mercy He ordained from the beginning of time. i'm learning that whatever i may not fully understand about the way God works in this world, (since things are so screwed up lately) one thing is clear: that His ultimate purpose – in all His wrath, power and mercy is "to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory." - romans 9:23. if i'm living in this promise and truth - living out His call on my life, my desires of helping those i care most about will come to fruition. the lyrics at the top of this entry are so true, we are given hope and grace to get through the hard times. praise the Lord. if you want to read the beattitudes along with me and study them with me or read them and discuss let me know. it would be great to have others doing this with me.

matthew 5:1-12

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are you when men reviled you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you."

to understand the beattitudes you must understand they are an announcement and reminder of how fortunate people are who already possess, the power of the kingdom. but thats not all. the beatitudes also contain an implicit invitation to become this kind of person. i want to become this person everyday i'm alive, or at least to be refined into nothing more than this person. i want all of me to remain dead at the cross while i am living in sanctification and growing in grace upon grace. agape.

pure and undefiled religion...

Posted by christin joy | | 6/23/2008 09:19:00 PM

i've been given a desire. a desire that unbeknownst to me - would be a burning desire for those who many forget about. i have a desire to ease the burden of those being persecuted for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. i have a desire to hold and care for the children of those who have been orphaned. there's a desire in my heart to take hold of women who have been neglected, alienated and forgotten. i have a desire to pray over those who have given their lives over to drugs and pray that God will give them that saving faith so they will desire to do nothing other than plead the blood of Christ and repent. to pray that God will save and deliver them from their addictions and of their sins. my desire is to feed the homeless, to eat with them, to share with them the beauty of the gospel. i desire to take God's word to those who are forbidden to partake. i desire to sing and worship alongside those who do battle for our Lord and Savior in parts of the earth where persecution is real. to take God's word and gospel to those who have not even heard the name of our beautiful Jesus. i do not look to serve the happiness of man, only to glorify God. my desire is to give up myself to the work of the gospel, to tell the world.

"woe is me. for i am undone and my lips are unclean. you chose me. to carry your word till the end of my days. my eyes have seen the King of All Kings. here am i send me. a witness to splendor and great majesty. and you chose me. to carry your word till the end of my days. for my eyes have seen, the King of all Kings. here am i. send me! a witness to splendor and great majesty. you saved me. the cross is the coal that has cleansed me to sing, safe in the grace of the King of all Kings."
- "here am i" by enfield.

some people ask - what do you want to do for the Lord. my only answer should be is to glorify His name the best to the ability that He has given me. i should never say "oh, i want to do this and this." it should be "i want to glorify God by doing the things He's asked of us, in His word." that is where i am at right now. my desire and hope is to be back in china/hong kong. meeting the needs of those, on that fertile ground. i used to plead and beg to go to africa, but were my desires pure? i don't believe they were. yes, i do believe i still need to go, i still believe that i should visit from time to time. but my heart for africa is strictly humanitarian. that is not a bad thing. many humanitarian efforts are based on christian values and they are doing a great number of things to help those in need. i commend those who are drawn to do just that. praise God for those people. personally though, my life is not to reach those with humanitarian efforts, its to reach those who need to hear the name of Jesus Christ. only Jesus Christ can save and fix things in a permanent manner. our bodies are only temporary - but our souls are eternal.

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." - james 1:19-27

so many people are forgetting those in need. many people just walk by those that are homeless and in need of a bite to eat or a drink of water. maybe they are even in need of someone to talk with, a blanket. what about our churches - how many of them are truly seeking to fulfill the command to visit orphans and widows, to help those in need. to show Christ to the world, not only in word but in action. i've recently started listening to the revival hymns over and over and its really showing me the current state of the church. and i mean the body of Christ. here are a few quotes from ian paisley, leonard ravenhilln and duncan campbell.

"The church of Jesus Christ is largely sleeping, like a great bedroom and you have all the Christians in bed and they're all sleeping and they're saying 'Please don't wake me up! I want to sleep on!' And of course when God starts to operate a revival people cannot sleep, you can't sleep in church when the Spirit of God awakes the people. Look at the first verse of this 52nd chapter "Awake! Awake! Put on strength! Wake it up! You're sleepy Christians! Awake thou that sleepeth, Arise from the dead! Christ will give you life!" - Ian Paisely

"How is it that the world couldn't get on with the holiest man who ever lived but it can get on with you and me? Are we compromised. Are we compromised. Have we no spiritual stature? Have we no righteousness that reflects on their corruption." - Leonard Ravenhill

"Is the world crucified to you tonight or does it fascinate you." - Leonard Ravenhill

"We just come from an altar and we go back the next week and we're fascinated, we haven't spent a half hour with Jesus but we'll stay two stinking hours in a movie house." - Leonard Ravenhill

" Revival! Not of evangelist’s, not of special effort, not anything at all organized on the basis of human endeavor. But an awareness of God that gripped the whole community so much so that work stopped." - Duncan Campbell

how true is it that our church services have become watered down. at least for the most part. i can't say all churches are like this because i know for a fact there are flourishing churches out there, being blessed by the Lord because they are following His word the way He intended. i pray that the churches of america will wake up. i pray that the churches of this world will wake up! i went to the resolved conference last week and was changed. my heart bleeds to do the work of the Lord. i hate my job - not just because of the job itself but because i long to do the Lord's work everyday. i am keeping my job so that eventually my husband and i will end up being able to do nothing but the Lord's work. and while i'm there, i pray that God will use me. i've been changed, after realizing the true depth of Christ's sacrifice, understanding that He not only endured physical pain, emotional pain due to the mockery, but he endured and suffered the pain of the full fury, the full unsatisfied wrath of God himself. the wrath that should have been poured out onto you and me - but no, instead Jesus felt the fury that would await our wickedness had it not been for His sacrifice. it was through His sacrifice that the wrath of God was satisfied, so that we will never have to feel what Christ felt. i ask you to pray tonight, ask God to reveal this to you. i pray that you'll read mark 15 and get more from whats not said, then from whats being said. there isn't a lot of gore in this gospel of the bible. but the reality comes to life.

i love you and pray that God will reveal Himself to you in a way that is new and real. remember, "The question isn’t were you challenged. The question is were you changed?" - Leonard Ravenhill. i pray that you will be.

agape,
christin joy.

ephesians 5:22-33

Posted by christin joy | | 5/27/2008 02:10:00 AM

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
ephesians 5:22-33

i've always understood this scripture. i've always knew the depths of this scripture. but today i have felt what its like to have to put this into action with regards to something you desire so greatly. praise the Lord for pruning but man, it sure does hurt. i have had probably one of the hardest days ever. i've wanted to be mad at bud, i've wanted to say that he was wrong about everything and i wanted to throw it in his face. my flesh was all sorts of riled up today. but fortunately, God is gracious, slow to anger and He is extremely patient with me. submitting to Him doesn't just mean going with what he says when i feel like it, i am to crucify my flesh and follow my husbands words even when i don't like the heading he says is ours. i have to trust that He has been prayerfully going through his days and that the LORD will be gracious to keep him from error.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.
john 12:24-26

i have to give up all of those things that i'm holding on to. i guess in the same sense as a dear friend of mine wrote in a blog, i have to give up that which is closest to my heart and that is hong kong and the ministry i feel called to do there. if i can let it go, give it up to God, trust that my husband is speaking in truth and not emotion, trust that i have only been speaking in emotion and not in absolute truth and trust that God will make it happen if He wants it to, then i am better off. i know this and i need to ask God to crucify that which is me and replace it with Himself. i want nothing of me, i want everything i do, every breath i take, every move i make and every bit of ministry i'm involved with to add to God's Glory. nothing that i could do on my own power would be even CLOSE to being worthy of our Lord and Savior. now, if He were to do it through me, miraculously, practically and perfectly - then all the glory could be added unto Him. i need this to happen in my life. i need to give over things that don't matter in the long run and give in to the things that do.

family. i have a family now. i have to remind myself that bud and i are not dating anymore, we are one flesh, one mind. we are in this together for the rest of our lives. and i'm SO happy about that, but sometimes its as if we're still just dating. i know we're married, but sometimes when life gets crazy busy and we don't see each other as much as we'd like, its as if we're back to being betrothed. but we're married. :) we're one. and as such, i should remember - family comes first. sometimes, (i'm not making excuses) i feel as though i'm on the back burner to all the things bud is involved with and so that "justifies" why i can just tell him whats going on rather than involve him. i really want him to be involved in the things i'm doing and that i am passionate about. but he really doesn't have the opportunity to be, if i'm not putting Him first before all that which i'm involved with. i pray that both he and i will do that in the future.

i've learned a lot today. i need to be content with whats going on and not long for the future. i need to live in the now. i pray that the Lord will help me to be patient and trust in Him and trust that my husband is walking in His footsteps for our lives. agape.

jeremiah 5

Posted by christin joy | | 5/19/2008 02:16:00 PM

i think its so interesting how far away our minds have strayed from understanding that God is a God of righteous wrath. we do things that are stupid and deserve to feel the heat of his wrath come on us. but God shows mercy time and time again, but when there are times He allows bad things to happen or it feels like He is against us, we want to cry out "why oh why is God letting this happen to us!?" or "why do bad things happen to good people?!" think about it, we are all inherently wicked. we can do no good outside of the grace and leading of the Holy Spirit. (this is in comparison to what God deems good, not what humans deem good.) i mean, just read through the book of jeremiah! the jews are supposed to be God's chosen people, right? so if God can show wrath on them, why should we expect anything different.

well, we may say "oh well i'm not sleeping with my friends wife." or "oh well i didn't steel or lie about anything, that bad." but to God sin is sin and one sin is worthy of God showing us His wrath. lets go through parts of jeremiah so i can explain what i'm thinking at this very moment:

jeremiah 5
1 Run to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem,look and take note! Search her squares to see if you can find a man, one who does justice and seeks truth, that I may pardon her. 2 Though they say, As the Lord lives,yet they swear falsely. 3 O Lord, do not your eyes look for truth? You have struck them down, but they felt no anguish; you have consumed them, but they refused to take correction. They have made their faces harder than rock; they have refused to repent. 4 Then I said, These are only the poor; they have no sense; for they do not know the way of the Lord, the justice of their God. 5 I will go to the great and will speak to them, for they know the way of the Lord, the justice of their God. But they all alike had broken the yoke; they had burst the bonds. 6 Therefore a lion from the forest shall strike them down; a wolf from the desert shall devastate them. A leopard is watching their cities;everyone who goes out of them shall be torn in pieces, because their transgressions are many, their apostasies are great. 7 How can I pardon you? Your children have forsaken me and have sworn by those who are no gods. When I fed them to the full,they committed adultery and trooped to the houses of whores. 8 They were well-fed, lusty stallions, each neighing for his neighbor's wife. 9 Shall I not punish them for these things? declares the Lord; and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this?

10 Go up through her vine rows and destroy, but make not a full end; strip away her branches, for they are not the Lord's. 11 For the house of Israel and the house of Judah have been utterly treacherous to me, declares the Lord. 12 They have spoken falsely of the Lord and have said, He will do nothing; no disaster will come upon us, nor shall we see sword or famine. 13 The prophets will become wind; the word is not in them. Thus shall it be done to them! 14 Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of hosts: Because you have spoken this word, behold, I am making my words in your mouth a fire, and this people wood, and the fire shall consume them. 15 Behold, I am bringing against you a nation from afar, O house of Israel, declares the Lord. It is an enduring nation; it is an ancient nation, a nation whose language you do not know, nor can you understand what they say. 16 Their quiver is like an open tomb; they are all mighty warriors. 17 They shall eat up your harvest and your food; they shall eat up your sons and your daughters; they shall eat up your flocks and your herd; they shall eat up your vines and your fig trees; your fortified cities in which you trust they shall beat down with the sword. 18 But even in those days, declares the Lord, I will not make a full end of you. 19 And when your people say, Why has the Lord our God done all these things to us? you shall say to them, As you have forsaken me and served foreign gods in your land, so you shall serve foreigners in a land that is not yours.

20 Declare this in the house of Jacob; proclaim it in Judah: 21 Hear this, O foolish and senseless people, who have eyes, but see not, who have ears, but hear not. 22 Do you not fear me? declares the Lord. Do you not tremble before me? I placed the sand as the boundary for the sea, a perpetual barrier that it cannot pass; though the waves toss, they cannot prevail; though they roar, they cannot pass over it. 23 But this people has a stubborn and rebellious heart; they have turned aside and gone away. 24 They do not say in their hearts, Let us fear the Lord our God,who gives the rain in its season, the autumn rain and the spring rain,and keeps for us the weeks appointed for the harvest.

25 Your iniquities have turned these away, and your sins have kept good from you. 26 For wicked men are found among my people; they lurk like fowlers lying in wait. They set a trap; they catch men. 27 Like a cage full of birds, their houses are full of deceit; therefore they have become great and rich; 28 they have grown fat and sleek. They know no bounds in deeds of evil; they judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper, and they do not defend the rights of the needy. 29 Shall I not punish them for these things? declares the Lord, and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this? 30 An appalling and horrible thing has happened in the land: 31 the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule at their direction; my people love to have it so, but what will you do when the end comes?

-----

jeremiah 5:1 "Run to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, look and take note! Search her squares to see if you can find a man, one who does justice and seeks truth,that I may pardon her" this to me almost seems like, well lets give them the benefit of a doubt, lets try and be gracious and see if there are ANY, even one who will seek to do the good of the Father. but i also know that He knew the result would be an astounding NOT ONE! they were unrepentant.

jeremiah 5:3 "O Lord, do not your eyes look for truth? You have struck them down, but they felt no anguish; you have consumed them, but they refused to take correction. They have made their faces harder than rock; they have refused to repent." they have no anguish for their sins, they lie or swear falsely. how could he find a repentant heart in a land that has no remorse for what they are doing?

jeremiah 5:4-5 "Then I said, These are only the poor; they have no sense; for they do not know the way of the Lord, the justice of their God. I will go to the great and will speak to them, for they know the way of the Lord, the justice of their God. But they all alike had broken the yoke; they had burst the bonds." basically what i see here is the hope that since they are looking among a select people group that they know do have hardened hearts and do not know of the Lord's will, maybe they will find a group of people in the depths of this land, somewhere far off that will seek purity and holiness. but again, to no avail, all were grimy and had no sense of repentance or need of it.

jeremiah 5:7-9 "How can I pardon you? Your children have forsaken me and have sworn by those who are no gods. When I fed them to the full,they committed adultery and trooped to the houses of whores. They were well-fed, lusty stallions, each neighing for his neighbor's wife. Shall I not punish them for these things? declares the Lord; and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this?" how can God pardon those who are revilers and enjoy what they are doing and have no incline to stop. feel no reason to stop. and you look at our world today. those who have no intention of stopping what they are doing, those who do not think they need to fall before our God in humility crying out for mercy. its everywhere. we are all evil and its only by God's grace and faith that we can fall to our faces and ask for God's heart to be our heart. how could He pardon us if we do not have the ability to seek for God's heart on our own? He'd have to do it on his own accord, He has to choose us. because even God's "chosen race" is not seeking the Lord, why would we? Jerusalem in this passage is shown to "swear by those who are not gods.", to have all that they needed but still lust and covet their neighbors wives and go to the whore houses, having a greedy heart. its a wonder God did not destroy them like sodom and gomorrah. they deserve it, God deserves to avenge Himself.

jeremiah 5:14-15 "Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of hosts: Because you have spoken this word, behold, I am making my words in your mouth a fire, and this people wood, and the fire shall consume them. Behold, I am bringing against you a nation from afar, O house of Israel, declares the Lord. It is an enduring nation; it is an ancient nation, a nation whose language you do not know, nor can you understand what they say." God is giving them over to their lusts and lies and deceit and allowing it to consume them. they will suffer due to their own wickedness. its like the scripture that says "therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen." romans 1:24-25

jeremiah 5:18-19 "But even in those days, declares the Lord, I will not make a full end of you. And when your people say, Why has the Lord our God done all these things to us? you shall say to them, As you have forsaken me and served foreign gods in your land, so you shall serve foreigners in a land that is not yours." so He's saying even though you're doing these things, and even though I'm a God of wrath, I am also a God of mercy and I will show you mercy. but isn't it funny that He is not fully destroying them and they say "why would you do this to me?" that is the fleshly heart to a tee! God is granting mercy but they hold on to the things they brought on themselves. how many times have we done that? have i done that? oh man, life is sucky but God saved me from such and such. but WHY DID HE PUT ME THROUGH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! we want to place the blame on God but really we have done this to ourselves. we deserve the worst, yet He bids us come to Him, receive His grace and mercy.

jeremiah 5:24 "They do not say in their hearts, Let us fear the Lord our God,who gives the rain in its season, the autumn rain and the spring rain,and keeps for us the weeks appointed for the harvest." they do not fear the God who has provided all that they have ever needed. we as a wicked generation do not fear God as we ought to.

jeremeiah 5:28-29 "they have grown fat and sleek. They know no bounds in deeds of evil; they judge not with justice the cause of the fatherless, to make it prosper, and they do not defend the rights of the needy. Shall I not punish them for these things? declares the Lord, and shall I not avenge myself on a nation such as this?" jerusalem is running a muck. God put limits on the sea so that it does not come to far, that although it waves and roars, its still within His control. yet His people (we His creation), are running a muck with no limits to the sin and evil, no boundaries. they judge outside of justice. in the long run they deserve His judgment. as do we!

so as this has already turned into a longer post then i had expected, i look at this chapter as a reflection of what we all have done and what we all do. God save us from ourselves. let us not lash out when you cover us in your mercy, but Lord we ask that you let us soak up your mercy and goodness and become more like you. amen. agape.

what is "the church" coming to?

Posted by christin joy | | 3/23/2008 02:56:00 AM

in these days that christians call the last days, the days the seem to creep closer and closer to the return of our King, what are people more worried about. what are people really spending their times wondering, studying and concerning themselves with. i could just use the cliche topic of "the church today is concerning themselves with the latest fashions and the latest gossip of who's who in hollywood these days." i know that people concern themselves with that, i know that people are so concerned with the things of this world. but what i'm referring to is the mere fact that Jesus is being marketed and merchandised as if He were your "next big thing" in hollywood. christians are selling the name of Christ and disguising it as "ways to get people's attention" in the world to tell them about Jesus. now, don't get me wrong - i'm okay with christian t-shirts and the like, i think they are cute and a nice alternative to some of the trashy things out there that are available. but what i'm mostly talking about is that the world is publishing a God that they don't know anything about. sure a lot of people can slap christian fish on their cars and claim to be a "christian", they may even go to church on sundays, be able to quote scripture, sing worship, go on missions trips, and they can still not really know who Jesus is, who God is and what role the Holy Spirit has in your life. the problem stems from the fact that people are noting their spirituality and their "christianity" in regards to other people, not in relation to Jesus Christ.

"The terrible condition of man's heart will never be recognized by people who assess it only in relation to other men." - john piper

i know that, for example: in america - people want to call this a nation that was founded on the gospel of Jesus Christ. people act as though because we have these megachurches and a lot of people who profess the name of Christ that we're okay. that if you go to church on sunday, if you say the sinner's prayer - then you're safe. that you're going to go to heaven, that you're "Christ's body." but i want to make something clear. a prayer doesn't save you. going to church does not save you. what saves you is a true repentance of heart, a true understanding that without Christ, we're doomed, which can only be granted to us by God's sovereign favor (grace)! we're not able to win our ways into heaven, work our way into heaven, be a good person and get into heaven. the world today does not fear and tremble before the God of the universe. they have made God a gigantic teddy bear who will make all things great for you. they have made God this image of what the WORLD views as true love. but if the world truly knew who God was, they would tremble and fear for their lives and be on their face pleading for forgiveness. if the world understood who God was, why would anyone be anything but reverent and have a holy fear before the God of all creations, the one that could snuff out this whole world if He so desired. but the world doesn't see it like that.

man is inherently evil, we're born into sin and its only by grace that we can be saved from eternal damnation. "I know that no good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh." - romans 7:18. in the flesh, we can try to do good, but the Bible says anything done not in faith is sin. flesh is man's natural self - outside of the grace of God. i know what you are thinking, you're thinking "well, Christin, i said a prayer, i don't do bad things, i'm a good person - so i'm okay, i'm going to heaven." but what i want to plead is that if you are not doing "good" out of reliance and to the glory of God, if you're not doing these things because the almighty saving grace of God has fully compelled you to do these things, then i'm sorry but its nothing but chaff in the wind. Jesus wants to burn up that chaff, replace all that is you and replace it with Him, but its not a prayer or a "good lifestyle" that will do that for you. only true conversion, only the true acceptance of God's irresistable grace, understanding that apart from God we can do NO good as we are totally depraved. understanding that as God's church we have been and are His elect and have been spared a life cut off from him. knowing that God shows no partiality, all have sinned, all have fallen short, no one is "good." all of us are depraved and cannot come to God without accepting and being born again, by God's grace that ONLY comes through the sacrifice of Christ and the shedding of His blood which is the propitiation of our sins, then as John Piper states it perfectly, "... salvation of any of us is owing to God's election." and that there is no condition in which we can strive to achieve that warrants God to choose us and save us.

"There will be tribulation and distress for every human being who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, but glory and honor and peace for everyone who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. For God shows no partiality. For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified." - Romans 2:9-13 (continue reading this chapter for even more clarification)

"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion. So it depends not upon man's will or exertion, but upon God's mercy." - Romans 9:15-16

i know that this seems a lot more harsh than what you're probably used to hearing me say. i know that i have preached "Christ crucified" and have told people that "God is love." and the statement in and of itself is true. but i have explained it with a flawed sense of love. i did not understand it and comprehend it for what it truly means. God is not a "sky fairy" (as quoted by mark driscoll) who by the wave of a wand, makes all things wonderful. its quite the opposite. God has every right to allow us to burn us up along with the chaff of this world. He could wipe us out for all our wickedness. our righteousness is but filthy rags. but He does show compassion, we do have a promise and a savior and that savior is Jesus Christ. Jesus came to the earth, lived a sinless life, died a horrible death on a cross, His blood was spilled to cover and wash away sin, rose again and is now eternally triumphant over all his enemies, so that there is now no condemnation for those who believe, but only everlasting joy. without Christ, we are God's enemy and will be condemned for our sin - but by accepting Christ' sacrifice, we are able to really know and taste the grace of our Father, and through Him and ONLY through Him, we can know that we are saved from the very pits of hell. there is full preservation for those that trust in Him.

i don't say this to come off as though i'm trying some fire and brimstone scare tactic. i'm saying this because until recently, although i knew God's love and sacrifice and made Him Lord over my life, i did not have such an understanding of the fullness to what i would talk about. i knew and read the scriptures and understood. but it was like a veil was taken off my eyes, to fully understand the depths of Christ' sacrifice, to fully understand what "God is love" means. i say these things to you in hopes that you will run to Jesus, that you will see how wretched and dirty you are, even when living a "good life" (because without Christ - you are incapable of truly doing GOOD - and i mean good in the sense of what God deems good.) i’m pleading with you to lay down your rebellion, your idea of goodness. i plead that you embrace the gospel that Jesus Christ, the Son of God died for your sins. He was raised on the third day, conquering over all His enemies. that one day he will put all his enemies under his feet. that forgiveness of sins and a right and true standing with God comes freely through him alone, by faith alone. we can do no good and make no "change in our life" to make ourselves more prepared for Jesus. anything that you try to do on your own will, out of your own strength, WILL fail you. the only strength you can fully trust in is the strength that is God ordained, in accordance to His word, in accordance to His gospel. i love you. i'm here for you. but above all, there is One greater that has paved a way for you and His name is Jesus Christ and He loves you more than anyone ever could. and that my friends, is worth more than anything.

inspiration has surfaced.

Posted by christin joy | | 1/15/2008 12:21:00 AM

while life has had its confusion and frustration quite a bit in the past months, the inspiration of hope's refuge has returned. but its returned with a bigger focus on not a specific country but of where to start it. women and children in need of shelter, food & water, a place to call home - its all a little clearer, although its still so far away. a scenario playing over in my head for a client of Hope's Refuge is repeating itself over and over again. i am weary to call it a dream or a vision from the Lord, it could just be that i'm desiring such greatness from the Lord that maybe i am coming up with scenarios.

the story would go like this: a young pregnant woman, maybe in her early 20's, barely over the age of 19, walks through the doors of Hope's Refuge. she has a blank expression on her face, but you can see it in her eyes that something vexes her. she asks to speak to a counselor, someone who can help her make sense of some things she's going through. she sits down. only, she doesn't sit down with just any person, she sits down with me. she sits down and after an introduction of who i am and who she is, she looks at me and tells me that she is pregnant. her boyfriend has left her, her parents have told her that she cannot give birth to a child with no father. she is feeling pressure from from day to day situations. she's so confused as to what is going on. this is when i am able to explain to her the joy and love and grace that the Lord has for her and for her baby. that she is beautiful in the eyes of Jesus and i tell her of the sacrifice He made, for this very moment in her life. i explain that He died so that we might live. He rose from the dead so that we may too rise from the dead and go be with Him in glory. then i move onto to tell her that she is blessed for having given her baby a second chance, by walking through the doors of Hope's Refuge. then explaining why a decision to honor the life of her unborn baby rather than to abort it would benefit her, and i would explain of the horrors of abortion.

letting her read the mission of Hope's Refuge, i then tell her that she is able to stay at Hope's Refuge for the entirety of her pregnancy, that she would have the right to keep her child after the birth or that she also has the right to leave him/her there with us, for a chance of adoption. i'd also explain that she will learn the important things she needs to know to help her live as a single mom in today's society, in her culture and in her personal situation, while staying with Hope's Refuge. i'd offer some counsel for the pain she is feeling without family and a boyfriend to back her up and let her know that where she is, she is part of a family that respects her decision and will help however possible. after the initial interview with said girl, i don't know what happens after that. but i know that she had a wall broken down for her, that she stays at Hope's Refuge, learns how to be a viable part of her childs life, apart of her society's life, as a part of God's family.

the faces of women and children all over the world flash in my mind sometimes. just walking down the streets of Hong Kong, seeing pictures of women and children in africa, just reading articles about these very issues - makes my heart aches. knowing of the children soldiers, the abandoned children, the children with special needs, knowing of women who were raped, women who were hurt physically, women who were abandoned by family and friends - knowing of the abortion rates and statistics... its just so much to take in. sometimes it makes it hard to breathe. even now it seems like what i want to do is such a huge thing that i am going to fail. but i have so many people interested, so many people looking to see this happen - i guess i can't fail. because where i am the weakest, the Lord will send people who are strong. and where i am strong, i will help with those that are weak. and with the team/family effort put forth by the Lord and His children - i know that this is going to work out. i just need to do what i feel is necessary and i need to make the assertions that are necessary. oh Lord, give me the grace and the understanding of all of this. give me my first step. show me what to do. please make the conference be available with whatever job i have when i get back to america and please let that time, help me with how i'm going to respond/move forward. amen. agape.

tabitha (dorcas)... what could it mean?

Posted by christin joy | | 12/16/2007 12:21:00 AM

so maybe a month and a half ago i had a dream. i normally don't look much at my dreams - as they are either filled with bad memories, nonsense or the like. sometimes the dreams are funny, sometimes scary, sad, funny. but at the time when i had this dream, things were being prophesied over me, regarding isaiah 55. so i guess i gave little thought to the dream i had, but like most others i let it go. but recently, at the thought of a dream a dear friend of mine had about her life at this present moment, how vivid it was. how i instructed her to make sure she knew if her dream was of the Lord or if it was an attack. (a friend had already told her this and i was just agreeing). but then it got me thinking back to the dream i had. i don't remember what happened in the dream, i don't recall exactly what happened so i guess that part is lost. but what i do remember, is waking up with the name tabitha on my lips. this was not the typical wake up thinking of someone and realizing i need to pray for them. it was different. (although to cover my bases, i did pray for someone i know with the name tabitha. someone whom i have not spoke with in years.) no, this time it was the feeling that i was being called to be like tabitha, or that my life is to be like tabitha.

i went to a book i had been given just a few months prior to this dream, all the women of the bible. actually, i had bud grab the book and he read it before me. he came into the living room and said 'well if this was a prophecy then it seems like you're going to die and be resurrected.' i was a bit confused, i read a little bit about her and i think i was so confused that i just gave up on that idea. but now with the thought of my friends vivid dream regarding her life, it got me thinking about that dream. i don't understand it, i don't know why i'm re-thinking about it. i don't even know what happened in the dream. i could try to go back to sleep and see if i could "re-dream" it, but thats nearly impossible. well, impossible unless the Lord saw fit to remind me of the dream. maybe i'm thinking of it completely wrong. so today, i looked up "tabitha" in my book again and read the story. (please note: this book is an entertaining way to learn about the life of women of the bible. but i'm not completely sure if the feelings felt by the woman of the bible, according to this book are 100% accurate. i'll have to figure it out as i do more research.) i also read the biblical citation in acts 9:36-42. i think i'll copy the scripture here.

acts 9:36-42 "Now there was in Joppa a disciple named Tabitha, which, translated, means Dorcas. She was full of good works and acts of charity. In those days she became ill and died, and when they had washed her, they laid her in an upper room. Since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, hearing that Peter was there, sent two men to him, urging him, "Please come to us without delay." So Peter rose and went with them. And when he arrived, they took him to the upper room. All the widows stood beside him weeping and showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them. But Peter put them all outside, and knelt down and prayed; and turning to the body he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. And he gave her his hand and raised her up. Then calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive. And it became known throughout all Joppa, and many believed in the Lord." even now, having reread the scripture and thinking of what was written about tabitha in my book, i'm not sure what to think. i'm not sure how to decipher or to read into this. was it just a dream that i really should think nothing of it? is it something that i should be thinking about, applying to my life somehow? i mean, if you think about it - she was given another chance. she was dead but the Lord saw fit to revive her, to give her more of a chance at life on earth before truly coming Home for good. is this to show me that i need to make more of my life, to show me that there is something i haven't done that i'm supposed to do. i'm not sure.

i do not think that i'm going to die and be resurrected. not that i don't think the Lord is capable, but i don't know if that will happen. if thats in the books for me. i mean, it could be but i'm not sure. so what do i make of it? do i have a gift of some sort of hospitality or some gift i can do by hand that i'm not doing, that i should be doing? do i have a practical ability that i could be doing to show the people the love of Christ, merely through my actions. i know that i do not have words to say. i know that i am not great with words, at least not when speaking them. sometimes i wish i could be a writer. not a famous one, just so that i could write for people while they talk - only putting things in my own words. a professional blogger! doesn't that sound fun. i am not sure, sometimes i don't know where i fit in, in the grand scheme of things. if you have any clue, if you have any idea what it is i should take from this dream - could you give me a hint? i'm kind of at a loss for words. let me know what you think. agape.