just thought i'd write a bit. its been a while since i was inspired to write and i don't know why but a certain movie always throws me into the mood to write, to indulge my thoughts and listen to beautiful music. although i'm here, able to write as i doubt anyone reads my thoughts or takes any notice, there is a bit of apprehension. what i'm feeling may come across as though i'm horribly unhappy or that i'm discontent. when in all honesty, i'm blessed beyond comprehension. i have the best family surrounding me everyday, i have an amazing husband who loves me, i have the best pets ever - yet there is something in me that is missing. some of it i know is the longing to be back home, in hong kong. some of it is the lack of luck i've had getting a job. another bit of this feeling is the anguish i feel over the current state of the church and their general lack of generosity, propriety and care for those surrounding them. but their is more to this feeling that i have that i cannot put my finger on it. memories are dawning again as i'm but a week away from a bitter anniversary. but still, i am not confident enough to know if this is the crux of it all. but i'll concede to this feeling for right now, until i can further articulate that which i'm feeling. agape.
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