songbird says stuff...

today i went to work. was ridiculously tired. left work after a interesting day with my nephew. went to the mall. looked for shoes. had dinner with bud. broke my sandals. (sad day!) went to the bank. got gas. went home. ordered shoes online. and now i have been talking to bex for an hour or so. i'm going to bed very soon. i need to take a bite of some food and take a pill. then i can get to bed.

anyway - i love you all. sorry this isn't more interesting. life has been so crazy and i'm finally sort of coming down from it... but i'm still tired and not into writing right now. bear with me. i'll get better! <3

today is easter. it didn't really feel like easter until we got to church and the sermon was all about the meaning of what Jesus' death and resurrection means. how we, his elect, are freed from sin and  no longer have to return to it. it was a really good service. and after we did our entrance interview with the session/elders and in 2 weeks, we will officially be presbyterians! huzzah! it was amazing how happy i felt after we got through the interview and everything. i felt like i was truly joining my family of believers. it was awesome. praise God.

i'm on a shai linne kick... he is so good. true reformed theology rap music! its awesome!

yesterday i worked from 7:15am till 10:30pm. long long day. no wonder i came home, sat on the couch and passed out. it was funny.

the day went well - minus the rain. however, the rain helped my allergies. all week the pollen has been killing me! my eyes are itchy, my lungs are wheezy, i'm sneezing. ugh. i just feel miserable. no matter what i do. so i think tomorrow i'll go to target and get some allergy meds. i think i will try either zyrtec or claritin. maybe if i take them and really just keep taking them, they will help. who knows.

i watched the twins and they were, again, ecstatic to see me. i love walking in and as soon as they see me they smile and start running around like crazy. they went insane and wanted to hold me and hug me and play. it was a lot of fun and i still miss them everyday. too bad i can't combine jobs and not work at rhonda's house. *sigh* it wouldn't work out really. the lack of structure of the twins meeting the great structure of my nephews i don't think would mix well. oh well. (and i don't want to be their nanny anymore anyway - i just miss the girls!)

this is all. sorry. yesterday was a blur of business.

OH and my dear friend katy came and brought me steak from adam's ribs! :) it was yumtastic! hehe. thank you, katy! you're the best.

i think i will do a three things thursday before heading to bed. just took an english quiz and got a 100%. go me! (we're going through the play the crucible and i guess its interesting... but i wish i could watch it acted out rather than reading it...) anyway - three things:

today i had becky and brody come over for a play date with carter. it was a lovely success. :) i hope they get to hang out more often and become good friends! after they left - bud came over! so carter got even more excitement and fun with uncle bud! it was a fabulous day. i'll post pictures another time. as for now, i am sorry but this is the extent of my blog for the evening. i just spent 3 hours ripping off my fake fingernails. yeeeeah. i always say "never again" but i always end up doing it anyway. i still have 1 fingernail on and i'll work on it tomorrow i suppose. :( but at least i can feel my fingertips again!

i love you all. gooooodnight.

oh p.s. my dear friends erin and brian barton who have been trying for a very long time to get pregnant, are having their baby tomorrow. i'm so overwhelmed for them and i know God will bless the day that they finally get to meet their son face to face. *chills!* so happy for them!!

so life got super over the top busy the past few days and i really have had either no energy or no time to really update! my best friend of over 20 years got married and i was the matron of honor. she was absolutely stunning and the day was perfect. couldn't have asked for a better time! i was so blessed to be apart of such an occasion and to have such a role. hooray for my kate! she is no longer kate neall... she is now officially kate morrow! hooray!

so friday was the rehearsal dinner. it was held at the mccormick & schmicks in baltimore on the harbor. it was a lovely night and the time together was fun. we got to have a relaxed meal, talk and get to know one another (families and friends from both sides) and really just kind of veg before all the craziness! (oh let me also say this: i got fake nails put on! for the wedding of course. they turned out nice and were a nice touch but now it sucks... seeing as they are officially a week old!) anyway - i forgot that i can enjoy baltimore... if i'm in the right place. i'd like to visit baltimore again... the harbor. do something fun. hmm...


saturday was so immensely busy but such a blur of fun. i woke up 20 minutes late! i had set my church alarm, not my saturday alarm. ugh. anyway - i got up, took a shower, put some mouse in my hair (as per the instructions of the salon people who were going to be doing my hair) and ran out the door. no not to the salon. to kmart. i needed an outfit to wear. 1) because all our clothes were dirty and 2) because i thought i was going to be changing after the wedding for the after party at cancun cantina. didn't happen. anyway - went to kmart, got what i needed, headed home and made sure my make-up from the night before was completely removed. i had washed it off, but some of it didn't come off. i had to actually use make-up remover for my eyes! weird. anyway - got my stuff together and went off to the salon with lindsay. it was nice because we stopped at her mom's house to pick up our dresses and i got to see david (their brother) and his little boy and meet his dog and say hi to his wife and other people of the family. its lovely to spend time with the neall family again. they have and are always loads of fun.

so we got the dresses and went to david alexander's salon. it was lovely. they fed us fruit, muffins, and orange juice. it was fun. the lady who did my hair, jamie, was very nice and had a lot of fun things to talk about. she and i got along well and were laughing and joking around! i think she did an amazing job on my hair and i don't think i got a really good picture of it. fail. the lady who did my make-up was awesome too. she didn't make me flinch but once! i felt completely safe, even with her jabbing sticks and such in my eyes. haha. after the salon we headed over to the venue where kate was to get married. i was so nervous because i started having headaches. i was so afraid that was going to ruin the day. thankfully with the help of ibuprofen, the headache went away and didn't come back. the venue was beautiful! and even though it was raining, the way the choppy water looked out the window, made for an amazing view for the ceremony.

speaking of the ceremony, it went off amazingly! i cried like a baby but i think i held it together well enough. considering kate is basically my sister~! i did a bit of lip quivering and tears streaming, but i didn't sob too loudly. and christian did well too. =D

lets see... after pictures and such, we had appetizers and drinks and then the reception happened. i had to deliver a speech and i was first to go! oh man. i was so nervous. mostly because i didn't want to cry in front of  all those people and i wasn't sure if anyone would get what i was going to talk about. but who cares... it was for kate and mike anyway. =D everyone seemed to like it and that was good. after that, i was pretty much done with my role, except for making sure things got dealt with for kate and behind the scenes kind of stuff. afterwards, we went over to cancun cantina and had a blast having drinks and spending time together with friends. it was awesome. the entire wedding and get together was like a high school reunion. a reunion with people i actually cared about seeing and catching up with. fun times! kate and i showed up in our wedding attire, as did mike. they had a slow dance on the dance floor and everyone cleared the floor for them, as it was their wedding day! it was awesome. i snagged a few awesome pictures. this is my favorite.

so today started off nice. got to work and spent time with my lovelies. they were exceptionally sweet and cute this morning. then my dad showed up so i could go to my obgyn appointment. i got there on time and then sweat nervously as i waited for bud. he met me there and i was so nervous that he was not going to be there in time. but praise God, he made it. we went in and talked to the doctor and she confirmed a fear i've been hoping would not be true.

i have polycystic ovarian syndrome. in short its a hormone imbalance that causes infertility issues. what happens is my egg follicles do not mature fully meaning they will not release, meaning i'm not ovulating. which in turn means it is impossible to get pregnant. a big part behind it is the fact that i'm overweight and not producing enough insulin. and basically makes for amenorrhea or missed periods. i have been put on metformin (a few months ago now) and they just recently upped my dosage from 500 to 2000! so the big thing for me to do now is lose weight and stay on the metformin. if i'm able to lose weight and the metformin does not bring on a period, then the next step is to take clomid. i'm scared of that stuff but if it helps then awesome. but i really need to not worry about getting pregnant and just focus on changing my lifestyle, not being lazy and actually cooking food and eating healthily. its so difficult but if i want children - i need to do this. being overweight is not the only reason i have pcos but it is a big part of it. sucks what being fat can do to you.

the devastating thing for me is the fact that i don't only have pcos but that is coupled now with my endometriosis. why doctor's ask me why i know i have it drives me crazy. and why they act as if its not a big deal drives me even more insane. endometriosis is awful. its debilitating, its embarrassing, its annoying... it can lead to cancer! it is a major cause of infertility! *sigh* i will never understand why they don't do more to find a cure or at the very least, find the culprit behind what causes the dang thing. *sigh*

anyway - so that was that. glad bud was there with me. glad they said that his tests he had done were a-okay. glad to know he is in good working order. go bud!

afterwards, i went back to work and ate lunch and played with carter and evan alongside my dad for about an hour before they went down for a nap. my dad watched the boys while i was gone and stayed a little while longer to keep playing. it was a lot of fun. i've spent a lot of time with my dad and mom this week. its been a nice time! anyway - finished the day off at work strong and fun. oh man, its been a long time since i played with a mr. potato head. haha.

after work i headed straight to my parents house where my mom and i got together and went to get our nails did. i got a pedicure, crystal gel, and got my eyebrows waxed. it had been so long since then and oh man it was way overdo! haha. but it was nice and i enjoyed talking to the lady who did my nails. and she is totally like the crystal gel lady. if you have not seen this video... go watch. its lovely. i looooove it.

so after nails i went and had dinner at my parents house. we had soup! i had my dad's homemade turkey soup which is amazingly wonderful! yummy! now i am home and cleaned up monsters 2 day withheld poop off the floor and lysol'd the floor. ugh. but now my nose hairs are burning because i sprayed too much. i forget how potent that stuff is. so anyway it is 10 and i should be in bed. im so tired anyway i think i will. here is a picture for you!

i don't have any clue as to what kind of recipe i want to give you. so i'm going to skip this week. sorry if this is a huge let down. this week is crazy busy and i'm just not in any mood to sit here and type out a recipe. so let me just copy and paste one. its of something i want to try!

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recipe: salmon with summer tomato salsa

ingredients4 (4 ounce) fillets salmon, skin removed
1 cup chopped fresh tomato
1/2 Hass avocado, chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp olive oil
1/2 cup cooked corn kernels
1/4 cup minced red onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
salt and pepper, to taste
1 lime, cut in wedges 

directions1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

2. Combine all ingredients (except salmon fillets and lime) in small bowl and refrigerate for 30 minutes. 

3. Bake salmon for 15-20 minutes, or until cooked thoroughly.

4. Serve salmon surrounded by the salsa and lime wedges.

Can serve salmon either hot or cool --

Serving cool salmon with salsa is a great summer recipe; just refrigerate until cool


**makes 4 4-oz fillets


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today was good. went to work and spent time with my nephews. it was pretty much your average day although the weather was absolutely gorgeous. there is something about feeling a cool breeze on your skin that is already heated by a blazing hot sun. i loved it. and then to have tree flower petals fall in your hair and lay upon your skin. oh what a lovely spring day. i love spending these days outside with my nephews. as i said before, evan is super content with being outside and carter would stay outside all day if the reality of certain bugs, like ants and bees, didn't loom and mockingly show their existence to him the entire time we're outside. =D but nonetheless. he loves being outside too. yay!

things are set up for me to go up to white marsh tomorrow to get my dressed fitted. excited for that. not looking forward to the drive but meh, it won't be that bad. i just hate driving my silly car anywhere like that. too busy and makes me feel uneasy.

i took my english test on the book of 'a highwind in jamaica' and got a 100%. awesome!

i am writing out all that i need to get done for my history class and its a lot. BUT at least the big book for english is out of the way and the big paper. i have like a month left until my classes are over so i really need to get history done. so i hope to hunker down and get a lot of it done tomorrow! but i am thrilled that i'm doing so well in school. hooray!

lets see - ate left over pizza for dinner and now i have heartburn. i've been ridiculously tired lately. i'm hoping life will slow down a little soon and allow me to rest and catch up on some sleep! :-X i'm a tired tired lady. right now i'm going to go watch an episode of the cosby show (i got all the seasons on netflix!) and then will head off to bed. gooooodnight.

so yesterday i didn't post... AGAIN. i know. i'm getting bad. but yesterday was full of business and then relief and then tiredness. i didn't sleep that great the night before. i was having nightmares that the dress i was going to be trying on was not going to fit right or that i was going to hate it and it just kept me alarmed all night. not to mention the cat decided to play with my hair throughout the night. oh and also - not to mention - that i kept waking up looking for bud and he didn't come to bed till super late. :( sad times. i hate hate hate sleeping without him but there is nothing i can do to change it. hopefully he'll have a change of heart and come to bed with me one day... and keep coming to bed with me. :-X

anyway - i went with katie up to bel air to check out the dress. it fit! perfectly! the only thing it needs is to be hemmed because my legs are short and i don't wear big heals. oh and a dart put in the top to help the dress lay flat on my skin rather than stick out so people can see down my dress. but i'm so excited that it fits and that i like it so much! the other girls dresses are beautiful too but i feel super blessed to have been given the opportunity to wear this dress. i like that i'm wearing something a tad bit different. i am the matron of honor. it didn't matter to me that i wasn't, but now i feel special. haha. anyway - it laces up in the back and oh well.. just wait a few days and i'll post pics! i love it. oh and it was absolutely wonderful to spend some time with katie alone and just get to soak up catching up with her. we both miss the time we lost while i lived in california and hong kong and she was in college and such. :( but i'm glad we're still best friends. wow... 21 years. intense!

came home and mom and bud were working on taxes. turns out we owe the state $552 dollars... BUT we are getting back 3550 for federal. so when that happens... we totally will be debt free. its going to be a glorious and wonderful occasion! and man i will feel heaps better about things. :)

i watched some dr. who with bud and then i watched some cosby show and went to bed. missed church and will probably miss it again next week as the wedding festivities will no doubt wear me out! anyway - excited that today worked out pretty much flawlessly. tomorrow i finish reading a high wind in jamaica and take a test on the book. i hope i do well. =D

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yeeeah this is what i would have written but didn't. yeah.